Oh, messy life.

Tue, 20 Jan 2009 08:47:28 GMT

This weekend was a long one. I spent the majority of it with my best friend. I'm trying to think. We drank almost 10 liters of wine in two nights. There was a lot of dancing, too. Friday night, Brittany and I got Nick drunk. He spilled water on me and yelled, "It's Karma, bitch!" That was probably the funniest thing I've ever heard come out of his mouth. Saturday night, we went to the Pharmacy. That was killer. I love Brittany, we always have a blast. I couldn't ask for a better bestie. I came home on Sunday morning with a duffel bag on my bed and my other best friend told me I got kicked out and was moving in with her. I packed my things and then my parents told me to stay. That was tedious, they're just nuts. I got some sick new kicks, too. I love purple! I look like shit and seemingly have fangs in this picture.

I spent last night and tonight with Tiffany. I love her so much, she'll always be one of my best friends. My orange hair is fading to a weird brown. I have class in the morning, I'm so bummed. Thanks to Dr. MLK Jr., though, I did not have classes today. I did a load of laundry, I feel so accomplished. Tomorrow, I plan on doing the rest of it and working out. I want to get skinny again! I made plans with at least five people for tomorrow, I'm such an idiot. I always do that, I'm the world's biggest ditcher. I need a car. Blah blah blah. Bye!

Tue, 13 Jan 2009 19:32:27 GMT

I love meditating. My World Religions professor, Bill, is amazing. He may have changed my life on the first day of class. I wanted to kick this guy's car today for coming within two inches of hitting me and I didn't even do it. All I literally needed to do was sit down in silence and breathe.

Mon, 12 Jan 2009 05:46:40 GMT

Today I was putting my niece to bed and reading her stories. She looked over at me and said, "Auntie, this is the best sleepover ever." I swear, this little girl makes my heart melt. She's so cool and she's only 3.

Sun, 11 Jan 2009 22:23:10 GMT

Sometimes all I really wanna feel is love, sometimes I'm angry that I'm feeling so angry.

Sun, 11 Jan 2009 03:51:43 GMT

If I keep telling myself my life is perfect maybe it will be. That's what I'm going for. Don't get me wrong, it is pretty good. There are just a few things I want to be different.

Sun, 11 Jan 2009 02:31:12 GMT

Brittany and I had a blast last night. We drank a ton, danced all night, spent time with some fun people. I totally love SP. Seeing Adam was nice since I don't get to do that a lot. I hate Dave's industrial piercing. I love to yell. I was barely clothed and stuck the whole night out in heels, no falling, with a huge bottle of champagne in hand. My best friend is perfect. My life is perfect.

Last night was exactly how I wanted it to be.

Thu, 08 Jan 2009 01:30:22 GMT

REDREDRED.

Sun, 04 Jan 2009 09:25:49 GMT

You're making it a hundred times easier for me to make the right decision. Seriously, thank you for that. I'm really looking forward to next weekend. I got to see my Little Baby Corey today and that made life perfect, I've missed him so much. Hopefully he'll come with me this weekend. Hopefully I will be feeling well by then. I just want everything to fall into place. I really do believe everything happens for a reason.

I play the cards I'm dealt because I have no other choice. I find beauty in everything. Life is always perfect because it just has to be. I would never want things any other way. "Rotten to the core."

Sat, 03 Jan 2009 02:24:24 GMT

Is it too much to ask for the things to work out this time? I'm only asking for what is mine. I wanted everything, I got it and now I'm gonna throw it away, I'll throw it away, yeah.

Fri, 02 Jan 2009 01:30:33 GMT

Why is it that every time I have a conversation with my dad it ends up with yelling and screaming? This is exactly why I don't talk to him regularly. I don't understand how someone can be so closed-minded and ignorant.

Thu, 01 Jan 2009 09:04:14 GMT

2009, please be good to me!

Thu, 01 Jan 2009 01:08:38 GMT

RENE SHUT UP.

Wed, 31 Dec 2008 21:44:48 GMT

I wish you would've taken me with you.

Wed, 31 Dec 2008 09:19:28 GMT

Tell your ex-girlfriend you need her to be there at bedtime 'cause you can't sleep with your mind on all these things.

Thu, 18 Dec 2008 07:47:33 GMT

All I want to do is listen to beautiful songs and be in love.

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 03:55:10 GMT

It's 10:51 and I can't stop thinking about you and I don't even know why.

Thu, 11 Dec 2008 09:36:25 GMT

I love this little girl so much. She makes everything all right. I wish we could watch Tom and Jerry and nap all day, every day.

Tue, 09 Dec 2008 06:52:44 GMT

I take people for granted a lot. I don't really mean to. I never realize how much I care about someone until they aren't around. I don't know how to change this.

Mon, 08 Dec 2008 05:38:26 GMT

Okay, so about my boy I've been hanging out with. He definitely isn't my intelligent and successful soulmate I've always dreamed of but I wouldn't exactly call him "settling for less". I don't even know what we have in common but I keep spending time with him regardless. What I do know is that he is simply adorable. He's very sweet, genuine, caring, and way into me. I like kissing him and holding hands with him. I like the way he looks at me. I'm going to keep my single status for now and see who else is out there, but I am going to keep hanging out with him because I like to. I don't know exactly what to make of this situation so I'm just going to keep things the way they are and go from there. We are kind of like these two:

Tue, 02 Dec 2008 06:45:00 GMT

The most beautiful boy asked me for my number today and I totally hope he calls me.

Harper Lee.

Sun, 23 Nov 2008 09:07:49 GMT

"I came to the conclusion that people were just peculiar, I withdrew from them, and never thought about them until I was forced to."

Mon, 17 Nov 2008 17:09:08 GMT

Finally, something worth writing about. My thoughts on last night are as follows:

scary
twilight zone
do do doo do
seabiscut-toast-dummy-freak-pill head nut waitress
"I hate when people interrupt my conversations, it's so fucking RUDE."
people that look like they get punched in the face on a daily
smelly mechanic lady
dyke spike \m/
do YOU have a job?
when I'd rather hang out with a brick wall than people with no personality
literally making people attempt suicide
I'M DOING WELL.
cannot hear myself think
god wears tall tees
I wear the same clothes every day
beating hearts baby
never sleep ever
cinnabagels
index cards na na na na 666

AND: I cannot attract boys because I snort, I smoke, I yell, I use profanity often, I have a boring hairstyle, I'm a huge geek, I use proper grammar, my lighter has to match my clothing, DUH vs. big lightbulb, I'm intimidating, I have gross retainers, ET CETERA, etc.

I don't expect anyone to know what I'm talking about. Let me know if I'm forgetting anything, I'm sure I am.

Tue, 11 Nov 2008 20:15:14 GMT

My 3 year old niece just called me a douche bag. Hahahahahahahaha.

Wed, 05 Nov 2008 17:12:03 GMT

Note to self: don't get so involved in a book that you decide it would be a good idea to walk down a flight of stairs while reading it. Chances are, you will fall down a flight of stairs and scrape your knee. Just keep walking.

Tue, 28 Oct 2008 15:32:00 GMT

I have the best friends a girl could ask for.

Brittany, Katelyn, Tiffany, and more recently, Andrew and Rob.

They are simply awesome. These brats always bring a smile to my face. Whether it's going to the best friend spot, whiskey time, dancing and getting arrested, eating massive amounts of food together, drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes, loafing, rambling about nonsense, playing video games, or anything else, there is nothing I'd rather do more and no one I would rather spend my days with. If I'm sad, I know I can turn to any of these people for an ear, a shoulder, or a plot to make me forget about whatever is getting me down. I am so thankful for them. If everyone in the world thinks I'm a loser because I don't go to parties every night or because I don't have a large circle of acquaintances, I don't care. I love my real friends. Unlike the old crowd I used to consider my friends, these people won't kiss my boyfriend, steal my money, trash my house, or ditch me to hang out with someone cooler. All of my silly little problems don't even matter when I have something so great in my life: my friends.

Also, since Brittany inspired this entry, I would like to reminisce. Remember when...
...you came into my store and told me to come over and drink and I did and we became best friends?
...it was your birthday weekend and your cats who would attack us for our taco bell?
...we went to Backseat's house and me being confused as to why your friends' names were Whopper, Dicki, Dummy, Train, Backseat, Twig, etc.?
...you'd wake me up with Andrew WK and make me get McDonald's breakfast?
...we would drink whiskey time all the time?
...we blew stop signs and almost died and didn't care?
...we danced the nights away at the CAID?
...we would eat food in my bed with hang overs forever?
...we would go to the beach at night?
...we attempted to "fight" (I punch you in the head a few times and you fish hooked me)?
...we would hide from everyone and they would get so mad?
...we would drink coffee when it gets cold?
...we thought it was a good idea to be tan?
...we hung out with scum friends and Billy friends and Ian friends?
...we would go play in Ann Arbor?
...I would have to race you to my computer?
...we made Roger go on a beer run?
...we went over Jason and Josh's house and I passed out on the couch with dirt all over me and woke up and didn't know where I was?
...we threw rocks at Danny's windows at 7 a.m.?
...we got breakfast at Denny's after Brandon's house and watched the weird old people and laughed a lot?
...we partied at that Woodhaven apartment and left because the cops were going to come, hid at Meijer, got weird boys' numbers, and went back and the cops called you sweetie and we pretended we lived there and hid again?
...we had fires in the big field and the one time it was a hoax?
...you fought Rachel Bires through the window?
...you worked at Journeys for like 10 minutes?
...we drank a fifth of whiskey (that seems to be coming up a lot, haha) in the back of some weird Kyle guy's car on the way to Mt. Eerie?
...I would puke all the time in secrecy?
...those dude bros came over and played with the cats and we watched Sesame Street rap?
...we drank for 15 hours of my graduation party?
..we would drive around with our silver friend singing Jessie and My Whetstone and touching each other's cheeks somewhere?
(that's enough for now, much more to come in the future!)

I wrote this partially to make Brittany smile but fully from my heart. I love you punks. <3